Waves

One summer when I was about 10 and my sister was 5 we were at Magic Waters Water park.  We were in the big wave pool without our tubes because the waves were on break.  The water was still and we were splashing and enjoying the summer fun.  Then the whistle blows its warning and the waves start back up again.  We are out to far and Kim can't reach when the waves sweep over us.  I hold on to her, but I can't carry her and keep myself above the waves.  I can't let go of her, but I can't move forward either.  Each wave comes crashing over us and we struggle to make our way out of it.  Finally a lifeguard spots us and blows his whistle to stop the waves.  He jumps in to rescue us out of the pool.

I feel like that today, actually for the past few days.  Things were nice and calm.  I was having fun again, enjoying things again...and then the waves began to swallow me up, without the warning of a whistle blowing.  I'm struggling, trying to stay afloat, holding on to something so precious to me that I can't let it go.  I know if I let it go I will have better chances of getting out of the water, but how can I possibly let go?

And so I wait.  I wait for the waves to stop.  I wait for strong arms to come swoop me up out of the dangerous waters.  Where are you God?  Why are you letting me drown?  Why I am I so afraid?  Where is my hope?  Where is my faith?