Not my home

I once thought this world was a safe and secure place to live.  Things used to seem so certain to me, but lately nothing seems certain.  Nothing feels safe and secure in this world.  I don't understand why babies die, I don't understand why young fathers die or kids get molested.  I don't understand why money becomes more important than family or why I have to forgive someone who has never asked to be forgiven.  I just feel like there is this blanket of ugliness covering this world and right now I can't see past it.  I just want to take my kids and run to a safe place where we will no longer be subject to ugliness, but no such place exists here.  This place is not my home.  I don't want it to be my home.  I have never felt that way before, until now.  I have never felt more in my life the longing for a place with no more tears, pain, or suffering.  This world and its pleasures are fleeting, they will not last.  I long for the place that will satisfy my every need, where there is no more ugliness.  I long to be with my baby again, I long to have my family all together.   I have never felt more urgency than now to be praying for my kids and their relationships with Christ.  Our lives are just a vapor and then its over.  This life is too short to get caught up in the things of this world.  We are citizens of heaven.  I know I can't protect my kids from the junk of this world, I can't protect myself from it.  All I can do is try to instill in them the importance of eternity...and the hope of a better place.  I don't understand why God sent his son to this ugly place to die for me.  I don't deserve it, but he did it anyway and I'm so thankful he did.